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Loneliness is a normal human emotion; when we feel lonely, our body is telling us that we need more social connection. Everyone experiences loneliness in their own way, but in general, it is characterised by a sense of isolation or disconnection from others, or a feeling we are lacking social connections and companionship.
Being alone and being lonely are not the same – it is possible to feel lonely in a crowd, and to feel content in our own company. However, loneliness is normally situational, a response to what is going on around us. If you've been lonely for a long time (chronic loneliness), you might experience decreased energy, an inability to focus, insomnia, feelings of self-doubt, hopelessness, or worthlessness.
Research shows that we can fall into a cycle of loneliness: the longer we feel lonely, the more we isolate ourselves. However, there are so many ways to reduce feelings of loneliness and begin to make new social connections. This World Book Day, we’re taking a closer look at how reading can have a surprisingly positive impact.
How can reading help us to manage feelings of loneliness?
According to a report by Demos*, UK citizens spend ‘hundreds of millions of hours reading books, not to mention the many hours spent reading magazines, newspapers, periodicals, pamphlets, webzines, blogs and countless other conduits for the written word.’ When feelings of loneliness start to overwhelm us, turning to books or audiobooks can be a lifeline. Studies find that regular readers tend to be less lonely, and reading for pleasure provides comfort and a sense of companionship, even as a solo activity.
Beyond this, books underpin a whole community of readers – offering lots of opportunities for social connection. For example, research has found that reading groups provide a route out of social isolation for young mothers, who are particularly susceptible to loneliness – with many saying reading helps to foster conversation. In a national reading befriending programme including isolated and vulnerable older people, 88 percent of participants appreciate the increased social contact from reading-inspired conversation.
A world of stories
Stories offer us an invitation to see things differently. While some books are fantastical, transporting us to new worlds, others illuminate the overlooked magic in the mundane. Funny, frightening, poignant and poetic, books are a rich source of entertainment. Through reading, we can experience life from a diversity of perspectives.
The possibilities of reading can be especially comforting for those who are physically isolated due to illness or disability; research by the RNIB and The Reading Agency in association with Loughborough University found that 95 percent of people who are blind or partially sighted read (through an audiobook, or another technology) at least once a week to alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Research suggests that reading has unique qualities that help readers connect with the world and manage their emotions. One study presented the case of an elderly woman who had limited social contact because of physical disabilities. When asked about how she felt about being alone and homebound, she pointed to her bookshelves and replied: ‘I'm not alone. I have the whole world right here with me.’
Getting started with reading
Building routine and structure
Whether it’s diving into a chapter during the daily commute, listening to an audiobook while doing household jobs, or unwinding with a book before bedtime, books can create a sense of stability and offer something to look forward to. Doing activities little and often can be a great way to build up a habit, so if you’re not already a regular reader, developing a routine by reading at a specific time each week can be an excellent starting point.
Reading together
Reading a book with a friend or family member can be a lovely way to maintain a reading habit. Making time to check in with a ‘reading buddy’ each week can give you a way to keep in touch and provide a ready-made topic of conversation. Discussing books with others and considering alternative perspectives can also enhance your own reading experience.
Recording your reading
Setting goals, or recording your reading, can also be a fun way to stay on track. You might aim to read a book every month, or read widely across multiple genres. Websites such as Goodreads offer a way to track your reading while also joining in with discussions online. You might even decide to write and share a review!
“I’m reading the same series of books as some of my friends, and we regularly check in with each other to share our opinions. These conversations often lead to other topics, so it works as a great way to stay in touch more generally as well.” - Katherine, Marmalade Trust
Accessing books
Buying new books can be exciting, but there are lots of ways to acquire books affordably, and with the environment in mind. Charity shops usually have a selection of low cost, pre-owned books - and, when you’ve finished with the book, you might decide to re-donate it for someone else to enjoy. If you shop predominantly online, second hand book websites such as World of Books distribute a huge variety of pre-loved books.
Libraries are also a fantastic resource for expanding your reading. Your local council website should provide information about libraries in your area, and websites such as LibraryOn can also help you find your local library. A lot of libraries run social reading events, such as parent / child reading groups, and offer courses to help people improve their digital literacy. Why not get involved at your local library and see if you can foster social connections while learning something new?
Audiobooks are also a fantastic way to engage with reading. BorrowBox, a service to which you may have access through your local library membership, offers a huge catalogue of audiobooks and ebooks available for borrowing.
We love the way Listening Books, an audiobook charity, ensures that everyone has access to the joy and benefits of literature. This inclusivity is fundamental in reducing feelings of loneliness and promoting mental well-being. Click here to visit their website and find out more about how you can access their library of audiobooks, as well as newspapers, magazines and comics.
Joining a community
Books bring people together! It is often possible to find local book clubs or discussion groups who will read the same book simultaneously, taking time at regular intervals to discuss what they have read.
Books can ease conversations around sensitive topics, giving groups a way to talk about their personal thoughts and feelings in an indirect way. While not an essential part of social reading, using books as a conduit for our own experiences can be a gentle way of opening up to people in our life about the issues that are affecting us.
When joining a book group, it can be challenging to know what to talk about. Some potential questions you could ask to get the conversation going might be:
How did the book make you feel?
Did the book alter your perspective in any way?
In what ways did you relate to the characters in the story?
What do you think happened after the book ended?
What was your favorite part of the book?
Did anything in the book surprise you?
If joining a book group in person feels too daunting, or is inaccessible for you, there are a range of opportunities to discuss books online. Goodreads is home to many community-managed discussion groups, often revolving around a particular genre or reading challenge. Click here to browse the forums and find a discussion group which aligns with your interests.
Discord is an instant messaging social platform which allows communication through voice calls, video calls, and predominantly, text messaging. Joining a dedicated Discord server could also be a way to find a community with bookish interests. Click here to explore servers tagged with ‘reading’.
What should I read next?
Looking for inspiration to help you choose your next read? In tomorrow's blog post, we’ll be publishing a list of our recommendations. The team at Marmalade Trust have put together their top picks for books which discuss loneliness and social connection - themes particularly close to our hearts.
Meanwhile, click here for more ideas on how to make new social connections.
Happy reading!
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